Birthday!

 I’m happy to be surrounded by friends and family. And to be able to spend this weekend with them on the beach was the best! It wasn’t easy.. Especially on the wallet.. But def worth it!!

I thank you Lord. For everything! I pray that you keep showering me with your blessings. ☺ 

So long!

– 21 y/o A

 

 

 

Concert concert (repeat!)

You know those moments when a bunch of songs just hit the spot right on? And those moments when those sweet love songs that used to be your favorite just irritates you. Yesterday, someone’s advice was to sulk in loneliness and listen to sad songs. It might just be working. I JUST WANNA GO TO THE CONCERT AND HAVE FUN. No I won’t waste this opportunity because of something stupid.

To cure of my doubting blood
And drain me of the sins I love
And take from me my disbelief
I know it should come easily
But it remains inside of me
It battles and devours me
It cuddles up the side of me
And whispers it convinces me

-Get me right – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

Can you take it can we save it
Sink our teeth in tear away at it
Can we hold out can we hold on
Cause I need You more than you know now

-Blame it on the Changes – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

She’s the truth inside my world of lies
Keeping all my hope alive
Never gonna say goodbye

– Her love is my religion – The Cab

———————————————————-

And I always can find you again

– Even now – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

I’ve had enough of these moves
You get everything with
I’ve lost all I can lose
To your skill and your games

– Fever Dreams – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

They say before you start a war,
You better know what you’re fighting for.
Well baby, you are all that I adore, 
If love is what you need, a soldier I will be.

-Angel with a Shot gun – The Cab

———————————————————-

Cause if it’s more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
Cause I can’t read your rolling eyes

– Again I go Unnoticed – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

Sharp disaster in a fresh new coma
Was it worth it when it was over
Proving yourself right
You’d make the biggest noise
Well.. I’d lock my hands behind my head
I’d cover my heart and hit the deck
I’d brace myself for the impact if I were you

(It’s a long wait) is there anything
(For an answer) worth looking for
(Is there any news) worth loving for
(Is there any word) worth lying for
(Is there trauma) is there anything
(Or a struggle) worth waiting for
(Am I missing) worth living for
(Was the body found) worth dying for

– Am I missing – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

I’m careful not to wake you
Fearing conversation
It’s better just to hold you
And keep you pacified
I’m talented with reason
I cover all the angles
I can fail before I ever try

-Bend and not Break – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

Hands down this is the best day I can ever remember

– Hands down – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

Maybe it’s love, but it’s like you said
“Love is like a role that we play.”

But, I believed in you so much 

– Ghost of a good thing – DC

———————————————————-

I gave you everything you ever wanted
You gave me nothing but grief
Now that I’m gone you’ll see the missing piece
Well, good luck, finding another me

-Another Me – The Cab

———————————————————-

How can you ask for forgiveness,
So now you think that your crimes are victim less?
I know you and your sins,
Your retributions,
So how will you lay your penance down?
We all pay in time,
So how will you clear your conscience when your clock unwinds?

I’ve heard enough of your forked tongue,
How do you know when the cuts are deep enough?
I know you like your stabs,
Your pre-emptive attacks,
But how will you hold your demons down?
We’re all judged in time,
How can you seek redemption using alibis?

You oughta know better than to bait your jailer,
You oughta know,You oughta know better.

– Little bombs – DC

———————————————————-

We were on fire
Now we’re frozen
There’s no desire
Nothing spoken
You’re just playing

– Temporary Bliss – The Cab

———————————————————-

I’m not like the other boys
Cause with you I’ve got no choice
You make me wanna lose my voice
I just wanna get you sideways
No, I’m not the type to lie

– La la – The Cab

———————————————————-

And I know yours symptoms
Are complicated from holding against the impulse

But if you’re alone
Are you lonely?
Well you just don’t have to be lonely
Anymore

I sit and wonder of your thoughts
What makes you so sure
Our sins are not the start
Of something holy, divine.

I don’t like the sound of this
– No news is bad news – Dashboard Confessional

———————————————————-

So why don’t, I make one
more wrong turn tonight so
Say goodnight our first goodbye

– Vegas Skies – The Cab

———————————————————-

SMOTHER ME – The used
———————————————————-

Don’t turn away
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don’t be afraid
Keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart
Dry your eyes, dry your eyes

Life is always hard for the belle of the boulevard

Okay. Yes I will work now. Yes. Yes. Yes. I can do this (repeat 20,000x)

Carpe Diem

They're here!

And I won’t be able to see them 😦 And it hurts cause I’ve been looking forward to this for so long! Because.. I don’t have the tickets anymore! Because it’s over. Sucks. But life. Lord? Dear Lord! 🙂

I promised I won’t do this, post about it so soon? What’s a girl supposed to do? People know I wear my heart on my sleeve. And writing about things makes it final and makes it easier to commit 😉 Less mistakes! No thanks to Culture differences! And to the inventors of lying!  Well I guess seizing the moment is still applicable here? 😉 Thursday please come already! And end soon too!

Still grateful. For HIM, for my friends. For the stupid gene-characteristic-of-not-losing-hope that I can’t seem to shake. Yes, I am still here Lord. I know.. I knoww. 🙂

Thank you also The Fray, for this. Somebody buy me their album! Haha! 🙂 Reminds me of The Hunger Games! Oh well, 4 AM.. back to work! 🙂

And this!

Beanie Babies

I cannot stress how stressed I am right now. I told someone.. ” you know rock bottom? I’m like waay too deep in there to even describe how I feel.”

I’m alone in a room.. been working since 2 PM and I’m eating alone, while writing so I can at least take a few minutes to relax. What’s for dinner? Crackers and biscuits, cause I can’t find the time to buy food for myself. Don’t even have the time to pity myself. Haha. Define apathetic.. and indifferent.

I know having so much fun over the weekend has it’s payday. Tadah!

SATURDAY

Meet my dad’s collection of beanie babies! (just so you know, I edited these pics last Saturday. I did not do it now!)

SUNDAY

RU1 2012! Something new to celebrate something new! 🙂

no I am not very happy anymore. A few more nights like this in the ****** and I’m really gone. Time to **** again!